Fat People with Handicap Stickers

Handing out Handicap Stickers to Fat People is BULLSHIT!!!



This time of year I spend WAY more time going into places to buy shit for Christmas.  And every time I drive into the parking lot, there are like 57 parking spots just for handicap people.  Could there be any more fucking spots out front, right by the door, that have a blue square painted on them!?!  Holy shit, I can't imagine that there are that many handicap people in this town?  That's cause there's not!  The handicap spots are all taken by extremely overweight fuckin people! 

Occasionally, I will see a van lowering a ramp down with a disabled child in a wheelchair and I think that it is good that those spots are there, so that his mother doesn't have to push him a long way.  BUT, 93% of the time, I walk past the handicap spots and there is a woman with a FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area) getting out of her car immediately onto the scooters that the store provides these fat fucks! 



There is a reason that your ass hangs 18" off each side of the seat!  It was designed to fit little old crippled ladies who need to go to the store for milk.  I walk by you in the store and the mini cart attached to your fat ride couldn't fit one more Little Debbie product in it! 



Here's the deal, handicap parking spaces are there for a reason.  Some people really can't move their limbs or are missing them all together!  They drive their wheelchairs around by blowing into a tube or have their wrist strapped to a Nintendo joystick.  And they actually have wheelchairs they bought.  I know that concept escapes you cause buying a wheelchair takes money out of the Twinkie fund, but they roll into the store and right past the scooters that are sitting there.  Hell, some of them walk around with mechanical fuckin limbs!  You gettin my point fatty!?!



Take a look at these two, one is missing a leg and skiing and the other is missing her shit from the waist down and is competing in the paraolympics!  You can't get out of your car and walk into a store without collasping so you send someone in to drive out a fat scooter and pick you up like fuckin valet.

I place a lot of the blame for this BULLSHIT on the State Dept for handing out handicap stickers to fat people like they are fuckin samples at Sam's Club.  But, most of the blame lands on fatty for shoveling that 3rd bucket of chicken down your throat hole and even having the nerve to apply for a handicap sticker cause your obese!

Here's the thing Gilbert Grape's Mom, when they have to hoist you into bed with a motherfuckin cherry picker, it's time to put the ding dongs down!  This bitch looks awfully happy to be placed into bed by something that looks like it came off the Ford assembly line!



Fatties are all to happy to be moved around by pieces of motorized equipment that way they burn no calories what so ever!  And when the ice age returns we will be fucked and fatty can ride it out on the 38.5 year supply of body fat that they have stored up.

If anything, fat people should get handicap stickers, but they should be orange and have orange parking spots ALL THE WAY AT THE BACK OF THE FUCKIN PARKING LOT!  Out in the north forty where no one wants to park anyway!  Then they can have double-wide parking spaces, but more importantly then they have to actually walk their fat asses a couple of hundred feet to the scooters!

But we all know that won't happen, cause the lawsuits would be a flyin.  So we can all just glare at those bastards as they block the isles with their fatmobiles with backup sirens and know that they are look right back at us thinking...............

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN,

THEY HATIN!!!!

Cause Handicap Stickers for Fat People are BULLSHIT!!!

YWKWB LETTERS: Dear Salvation Army Bell Ringer

Dear Salvation Army Bell Ringer,

While I fully support your cause and charity, do you have to ring that bell so fucking loud?  Holy shit, you get my left ear going into the store and my right ear coming out!  We all know you're there!  You're the fuckin guy with the bright red vest, the pot dangling off the stick, and you're standing in the fuckin front door....SAW ya!  If you think that you have to ring that loud ass bell to get my attention, you're sadly mistaken.  Your bell is fucking annoying.....quit it!  You have this shit all backwards anyways, what you should be doing is have people give money to keep you from ringing that fuckin bell!  I would gladly throw a buck in if I thought it would shut you up, you loud fuck!  There are lots of ways to get me to give you money and making unnecessarily loud noises isn't one of them.  Save the bells for boat harbors and railroad crossings and take up air guitar lessons.

Cause your loud bell ringing is BULLSHIT!!!

Regards,
YWKWB

YWKWB QUICKIE: The Duggar Family

The Duggar Cult Family is BULLSHIT!!!

Hey Duggar Family....fuckin knock it off!  It's called a vagina, not a clown car!  It's fucking crazy enough that all your names start with 'J' without there being 20 of you fuckers!  And sweet baby Jesus, get a haircut you crazy bitch!

       

YWKWB LETTERS: Dear Boise State

Dear Boise State,

Your football field fucking SUCKS!  Every time I try to watch your games on ESPN, the train wreck that you call a field fucks with my eyes and makes me want to throw up!  Stop it already with the fuckin bright blue football field!  Even in HD the first down markers and line of scrimmage are all fucked up on my TV and it makes watching any of your games a chore.  Grow some of the regular grass......you know, FUCKIN GREEN and knock it off with the cute blue field that you so dearly refer to as "smurf turf".  Every time I hear smurf turf, it makes me think of Smurfette's bush.  It's fucking queer and getting old and your uniforms blend in cause they are the same color as the field!  It's like watching a hunter walk through the woods in full camo.  You know he's there, but you can't quite see him.  Here's an idea I"ll just toss out there, hows bout putting in some orange and blue chairs in the stands like every other team does with their stadium and stop fucking with the color of grass, cause your blue field is BULLSHIT!!!

Regards,
YWKWB

Black Friday

Black Friday is BULLSHIT!!!




They say that the molecule in turkey, tryptophan, can make people feel drowsy after turkey dinner.  When ingested, tryptophan is converted to serotonin, which is a hormone responsible for making people feel good. But, serotonin does not only make us happy, it also makes us calm and relaxed, and in some cases sleepy. 

Well........all I can guess is that these motherfuckers didn't eat enough fuckin turkey!!!



HOLY SHIT!  I must be missin out....FUCK!  What did I miss?  Are they giving away bundled up hundred dollar bills?  Shit, I knew I should have woke up at 3:00am and went down to Target.  Wait a minute....is that a digital camera?  That is what everyone is dying to grab up!?!  A fuckin digital camera?  You mean like the one that I have built into my cellphone?  That digital camera?  It's not a new type of camera that, like, spits out $20 dollar bills every time I press the button is it?  Cause now I am REALLY kicking my self for not waking up at 3:00am to do this.................



If I had only rolled out of bed at 3:00am, I could have a camera that spits out $20 dollar bills every time I press the button and that wou..........wait what?  You're saying it doesn't spit out $20 dollar bills every time the button is pushed.  Well then it must do something really cool, like if I pres...........no, your saying no it doesn't do anything special.  It is just a camera?  That is it?  

Well then......YOU ARE ALL FUCKING...........RETARDS!!!

I haven't seen these many fucking idiots lined up for stupid shit since American Idol came to town.

There must be a reason that ALL these fucking idiots show up to one place at the same time to buy digital cameras and flat screen TV's.  OH, I see!  The digital camera is 20% OFF.  Holy SHIT!  Deal of the century, where are my car keys, I have to get down there.



FUCK ME!  Are all these fucking idiots trying to get cameras, too?  How many cameras did they say they would have?  A pallet of 50!?!  That is it?  But why would they only bring 50 in if they knew that all these people would want one?

I'll tell you why......Supply and Demand motherfucker!  Pretty simple business concept, you might have heard of it.  If Walmart brings in 300 cameras, people could just stroll in and maybe take a look around and eventually make their way over to the electronics and pick themselves up a digital camera.  Walmart might not sell them out then and they might be left with 157 cameras that didn't sell.  BUT.........if they only bring in 50 and put it in the paper that they will only have 50..........idiots will be on them like a Somalian on a steak dinner.  Guaranteed sellout.

Yeah, fat ladies will punch each other in the face for stupid shit like this:



Here's the deal......Why do you have to save all of your money in one day?  Quick thought, how bout you cut back from 2 packs of Camel no filters to one a day and take that $1275.00 you would save and go buy whatever the fuck you want on a Tuesday afternoon when you can actually walk around the store and shop?  Or stop buying your cafe mocha at Starbucks every fuckin day and take that $1275.00 and get online and find the best price on a quality digital camera.  Cause the Coby Digital Camera you just bought is a piece of shit!  Just a thought dumbass!

Next time you want to camp out in front of Walmart for your $68 Lexmark printer, have a look at what could easily happen to you.


Here's the deal, I would gladly pay twice what they are asking for their shit if I can sleep in on friday and not be anywhere near this:







Fuck Grandma, there are only 17 cameras left!

Nothing like old ladies getting trampled to death to get you in the spirit!

Everyone together:  "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas......"

Black Friday......what a load of BULLSHIT!!!