OK, so I'm driving to work and I'm gettin low on gas. So I pull into the gas station on my way to work and start to fill up. When I put my card in to start the pump, it asks me a very simple question. "Would you like a receipt?" "Yes or No." Well yes I would and I'll tell you why. See, I still do this crazy thing that my grandfather did and he passed down to my father and he passed it onto me. I forget the name of it......oh, ya BALANCING MY CHECKBOOK. See I want to know how much money is actually in my account so I don't spend every fuckin cent and then some. So I press "YES". The pump says "OK, you want a receipt, no problem, I'll start pumping your gas and we'll work this whole receipt thing out when I'm finished." So I finish pumping the gas and put up the nozzle. The machine then acts as if it is going to go ahead and print that receipt that we talked about earlier, but guess what....it fuckin doesn't. Nope, right there on the screen are the words: "Please see cashier for receipt." Well fuck me, isn't that convenient. Total BULLSHIT!
I mean these are convenient stores, right? Do they know what convenient means? Maybe not, maybe this is an inconvenient store and I was not aware. Maybe when I walk in the store to get my receipt, I look around at all the stuff on the shelves and it's placed really high and out of reach.
They offer you a ladder to reach everything, but all the rungs are broken, and they have gallons of milk for sale, but they are all expired. Maybe they sale candy bars on the high shelves, but they are all melted. You see my point.
Lets see what Wikipedia has to say about paying at the pump:
"The system allows customers the convenience of not having to walk far from their vehicle, wait in line, or wait for the human station attendant to process the transaction. It also provides the attendants the advantage of being able to tend to other duties rather than being busy with customers."
That sounds great! Cause if I wanted to walk into the shithole gas station and stand behind Fat Nancy while she buys her 18th Powerball ticket and her 19th pack of smokes, I would. But I don't want to walk into the store, that's why I slid that piece of plastic that I tote around in my wallet into your fancy gas machine, you dumb fucks! Now it also says it allows the attendants the advantage of being able to tend to other duties. Other duties, hum............what other duties do you think they are referring to. How bout fillin the fuckin receipt paper, how about that duty, you sumbitch! Maybe they think the duty that are talking about is smoking another fuckin Camel no filter by the front door.
That way when there isn't any paper and I do get to walk my ass all the way into the store.....I get to smoke a Camel no filter TOO! Awesome!!! I was hoping to smell like an ashtray before I got to work this morning, mission accomplished!
I don't know how many fuckin times I pull into a gas station and the receipt paper is out. It's gotta be in the hundreds by now. It's always the same fuckin gas station, too. The only gas station on my way to and from work and they can't refill a fuckin roll of paper! Well, here's another idea and I'm just throwing these around now, so stay with with me. How bout when I put my card in to pay, instead of asking if I would like a receipt.............tell me that the fuckin paper is OUT! Then I wouldn't get my hopes up that this piece of shit is going to spit one out when I'm done, assholes! Or I'll do you one better, how bout you hire a fuckin person that doesn't smoke 10 hours in a shift and have this person refill the fuckin receipt paper as part of their job and not when they need another fuckin cig.
Cause your pumps running out of paper is BULLSHIT!!!
