YWKWB LETTERS: Dear Boise State

Dear Boise State,

Your football field fucking SUCKS!  Every time I try to watch your games on ESPN, the train wreck that you call a field fucks with my eyes and makes me want to throw up!  Stop it already with the fuckin bright blue football field!  Even in HD the first down markers and line of scrimmage are all fucked up on my TV and it makes watching any of your games a chore.  Grow some of the regular grass......you know, FUCKIN GREEN and knock it off with the cute blue field that you so dearly refer to as "smurf turf".  Every time I hear smurf turf, it makes me think of Smurfette's bush.  It's fucking queer and getting old and your uniforms blend in cause they are the same color as the field!  It's like watching a hunter walk through the woods in full camo.  You know he's there, but you can't quite see him.  Here's an idea I"ll just toss out there, hows bout putting in some orange and blue chairs in the stands like every other team does with their stadium and stop fucking with the color of grass, cause your blue field is BULLSHIT!!!



Black Friday

Black Friday is BULLSHIT!!!

They say that the molecule in turkey, tryptophan, can make people feel drowsy after turkey dinner.  When ingested, tryptophan is converted to serotonin, which is a hormone responsible for making people feel good. But, serotonin does not only make us happy, it also makes us calm and relaxed, and in some cases sleepy. 

Well........all I can guess is that these motherfuckers didn't eat enough fuckin turkey!!!

HOLY SHIT!  I must be missin out....FUCK!  What did I miss?  Are they giving away bundled up hundred dollar bills?  Shit, I knew I should have woke up at 3:00am and went down to Target.  Wait a minute....is that a digital camera?  That is what everyone is dying to grab up!?!  A fuckin digital camera?  You mean like the one that I have built into my cellphone?  That digital camera?  It's not a new type of camera that, like, spits out $20 dollar bills every time I press the button is it?  Cause now I am REALLY kicking my self for not waking up at 3:00am to do this.................

If I had only rolled out of bed at 3:00am, I could have a camera that spits out $20 dollar bills every time I press the button and that wou..........wait what?  You're saying it doesn't spit out $20 dollar bills every time the button is pushed.  Well then it must do something really cool, like if I pres...........no, your saying no it doesn't do anything special.  It is just a camera?  That is it?  

Well then......YOU ARE ALL FUCKING...........RETARDS!!!

I haven't seen these many fucking idiots lined up for stupid shit since American Idol came to town.

There must be a reason that ALL these fucking idiots show up to one place at the same time to buy digital cameras and flat screen TV's.  OH, I see!  The digital camera is 20% OFF.  Holy SHIT!  Deal of the century, where are my car keys, I have to get down there.

FUCK ME!  Are all these fucking idiots trying to get cameras, too?  How many cameras did they say they would have?  A pallet of 50!?!  That is it?  But why would they only bring 50 in if they knew that all these people would want one?

I'll tell you why......Supply and Demand motherfucker!  Pretty simple business concept, you might have heard of it.  If Walmart brings in 300 cameras, people could just stroll in and maybe take a look around and eventually make their way over to the electronics and pick themselves up a digital camera.  Walmart might not sell them out then and they might be left with 157 cameras that didn't sell.  BUT.........if they only bring in 50 and put it in the paper that they will only have 50..........idiots will be on them like a Somalian on a steak dinner.  Guaranteed sellout.

Yeah, fat ladies will punch each other in the face for stupid shit like this:

Here's the deal......Why do you have to save all of your money in one day?  Quick thought, how bout you cut back from 2 packs of Camel no filters to one a day and take that $1275.00 you would save and go buy whatever the fuck you want on a Tuesday afternoon when you can actually walk around the store and shop?  Or stop buying your cafe mocha at Starbucks every fuckin day and take that $1275.00 and get online and find the best price on a quality digital camera.  Cause the Coby Digital Camera you just bought is a piece of shit!  Just a thought dumbass!

Next time you want to camp out in front of Walmart for your $68 Lexmark printer, have a look at what could easily happen to you.

Here's the deal, I would gladly pay twice what they are asking for their shit if I can sleep in on friday and not be anywhere near this:

Fuck Grandma, there are only 17 cameras left!

Nothing like old ladies getting trampled to death to get you in the spirit!

Everyone together:  "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas......"

Black Friday......what a load of BULLSHIT!!!