This time of year I spend WAY more time going into places to buy shit for Christmas. And every time I drive into the parking lot, there are like 57 parking spots just for handicap people. Could there be any more fucking spots out front, right by the door, that have a blue square painted on them!?! Holy shit, I can't imagine that there are that many handicap people in this town? That's cause there's not! The handicap spots are all taken by extremely overweight fuckin people!
Occasionally, I will see a van lowering a ramp down with a disabled child in a wheelchair and I think that it is good that those spots are there, so that his mother doesn't have to push him a long way. BUT, 93% of the time, I walk past the handicap spots and there is a woman with a FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area) getting out of her car immediately onto the scooters that the store provides these fat fucks!
There is a reason that your ass hangs 18" off each side of the seat! It was designed to fit little old crippled ladies who need to go to the store for milk. I walk by you in the store and the mini cart attached to your fat ride couldn't fit one more Little Debbie product in it!
Here's the deal, handicap parking spaces are there for a reason. Some people really can't move their limbs or are missing them all together! They drive their wheelchairs around by blowing into a tube or have their wrist strapped to a Nintendo joystick. And they actually have wheelchairs they bought. I know that concept escapes you cause buying a wheelchair takes money out of the Twinkie fund, but they roll into the store and right past the scooters that are sitting there. Hell, some of them walk around with mechanical fuckin limbs! You gettin my point fatty!?!
Take a look at these two, one is missing a leg and skiing and the other is missing her shit from the waist down and is competing in the paraolympics! You can't get out of your car and walk into a store without collasping so you send someone in to drive out a fat scooter and pick you up like fuckin valet.
I place a lot of the blame for this BULLSHIT on the State Dept for handing out handicap stickers to fat people like they are fuckin samples at Sam's Club. But, most of the blame lands on fatty for shoveling that 3rd bucket of chicken down your throat hole and even having the nerve to apply for a handicap sticker cause your obese!
Here's the thing Gilbert Grape's Mom, when they have to hoist you into bed with a motherfuckin cherry picker, it's time to put the ding dongs down! This bitch looks awfully happy to be placed into bed by something that looks like it came off the Ford assembly line!
Fatties are all to happy to be moved around by pieces of motorized equipment that way they burn no calories what so ever! And when the ice age returns we will be fucked and fatty can ride it out on the 38.5 year supply of body fat that they have stored up.
If anything, fat people should get handicap stickers, but they should be orange and have orange parking spots ALL THE WAY AT THE BACK OF THE FUCKIN PARKING LOT! Out in the north forty where no one wants to park anyway! Then they can have double-wide parking spaces, but more importantly then they have to actually walk their fat asses a couple of hundred feet to the scooters!
But we all know that won't happen, cause the lawsuits would be a flyin. So we can all just glare at those bastards as they block the isles with their fatmobiles with backup sirens and know that they are look right back at us thinking...............
THEY SEE ME ROLLIN,
THEY HATIN!!!!
Cause Handicap Stickers for Fat People are BULLSHIT!!!
