Glitter Cards

Glitter Cards are BULLSHIT!!!

Picture this, you come home from a hard day at work.  You walk down to the mailbox to pick up the mail, you look in and see some hand written addresses on the cards.  You think, that's nice grandma remember your daughter's birthday.  So you carry the mail back into the house and gather everyone around.  You tell her "Grandma sent you a birthday card, wasn't that nice?"  "Lets open it." 

BIG mistake, cause as soon as that envelope tears open....................


A fuckin glitter grenade explodes in your hand.  HOLY SHIT! Get down!  Glitter rains from the sky, as you race for cover.  It's getting harder to breath, but you stay down for a while cause you don't know if it's over.  Suddenly, the glitter clears from the air and after a minute or two of silence, people who heard the screams from down the block are walking up to see if your alright, but it's too late.

"Holy shit, what happened to them?" 
"They got a glitter card in the mail."
"Those poor bastards!"

Later you're in the shower trying to wash the shit off. 

It ain't happening, you'll be finding glitter on shit until her next birthday.  Fuck you glitter!  OK, maybe I exaggerated, but if you've ever opened a glitter card, you know that it's BULLSHIT!  I'd welcome getting Dan Rather's envelope full of Anthrax before I open another fuckin glitter card.  I'm not sure I am making my point, I FUCKING HATE GLITTER CARDS! 

To start with, how do they get so much fuckin glitter on one card?  Is there a quota on glitter for each card?  Did the boss at Hallmark walk in and say "That doesn't look like enough glitter on that card, it's not going to make a big enough mess.  Better add more."  Which leads me to my next question.  How come when the cards are on the shelf at the store you don't see glitter all over the floor of the card isle?  But when that fucker gets mailed to your house and you open it..............

...it looks like Tinkerbell took a glitter shit on the hardwood floors. 

I'm gonna blame the post office.  I know that the glitter was all on the card when it left the store, but when it gets to my house in the mail, two-thirds of it is in the bottom of the envelope.  The post office has to have a machine that detects the glitter cards, kicks them out to a seperate area in the back, puts them in a machine that shakes the shit out of 'em, and then they mail them.  You sick bastards!

But they aren't the only assholes here.  What kind of cheap-ass glue are these card companies using to hold the glitter on with.  I thought Elmer's glue was the shittiest glue on the planet.  But somehow Hallmark tracked down Elmer's retarded cousin Lester and are buying glue from him or something.  I mean, this shit they use makes Elmer's glue look like fuckin liquified granite.

The worst part is that there is no fuckin warning.  When you get a card for ANYONE in the mail, you better check that shit out!  Cut a little slit in the side and peak in there, it's worth your time.  If not, you better know that shit is just waiting in the bottom of the envelope, like a fuckin glitter ninja, ready to come flying out and attack everything in sight.  Don't say I didn't tell you so when you spend the next 2 hours cleaning glitter off shit.  The bad part is that you can't sweep glitter up, you have to vacuum it, it's total bullshit!  You can sweep all fuckin day and you won't get it all.  You'll be walking through the house three weeks later and the light will hit just right and there it is........little specks of glitter all over everything.

So here's the deal card making assholes:  Either include a "Warning: Contains Glitter" sticker for the shipper to put on the envelope or include a coupon for 80% off a new vacuum, ya dicks!

Cause Glitter Cards are BULLSHIT!!!


Mixed Metric System

Mixed Metric System is BULLSHIT!!!

Take a hard look at this map.  The countries in red......those countries are the only countries in the ENTIRE world that don't use the metric system.  The U.S., Burma, and Liberia.  That is it.  That's right, the U.S. is hangin in there.  We're like "Fuck you rest of the world!  We won't conform to this bullshit system that the ENTIRE remainder of the planet uses.  You know, minus Burma and Liberia."  Burma?  All I know about about Burma is Rambo went there to fuck some guys up in his last movie.  Where the fuck is Burma and Liberia?  Who knows and without looking at a globe for half an hour, you wouldn't know either!

As Americans, we are used to this shit by now, but if you step back and look at it from a common sense perspective, your like, what the fuck!?!  Try to stay with me here. 

You go the store and walk to the dairy dept for milk, you pick up a gallon of milk.  Then walk to the next isle for pop and pick up a 2 Liter of Dr. Pepper.  Walk to the juice isle and pick up a 128 oz bottle of OJ.  (Side Note:  128 oz is a gallon, so why not list that first on the fuckin bottle, idiots!?!)  Walk over to the liquor dept and pick up a 6 pack of 12 oz bottles, 750 mL bottle of wine, and a fifth of whiskey.  A fifth?  A fifth of what?  Cause a fifth of a gallon is 757 mL and the bottle says 750 mL.  I think someone owes me 7 mL.  Heading over to the hygiene dept, you pick up a 250 mL bottle of mouthwash.  Then, as your in line to check out, you think I would like to enjoy some Dr. Pepper now.  So you reach into the mini fridge and pull out a 20 oz bottle. 


Ever heard of some standardization?!?  Get your shit together committee that picks fluid containers, cause your making my fuckin head hurt, assholes!  That is just the beginning, too. 

Look at the Nutritional Facts on the side of the boxes of food:
The serving size is in cups (with grams secondary) and then facts like sodium and protein are in grams only.  Are you shittin me!?! 

What about recipes? 
"Use a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of salt".  SHIT, i got butter all over the tablespoon already, I'll just use the teaspoon.  How many teaspoons are in a tablespoon?  Two?  NO, its fuckin three, how queer is that?!?  Three?  Who comes up with this BULLSHIT!?!

Some people haven't embraced the digital world yet and still buy 35mm film for their cameras.  But when you go to print the pictures you get 4x6 inch prints.  Whatever, you fuckin dummies!

Ever bought tires before?  Holy SHIT!  The tires on my car are 235/60-17.  That's 235mm for the tire thread width and 17 inches for the diameter of the rim.  Do you want my head to explode?  Whoever decided this is a fuckin dummy, plain and simple.  Don't get me started on fasteners.  My car's engine was built in China, the transmission is from Japan, and it was assembled in Canada.  What kind of foriegn piece of shit is this you ask?  It's a fuckin Chevy, the heartbeat of America!  This thing is littered with a mix and match of standard and metric fasteners.  Fuck you Chevy and kiss my ass!

Moving on.  Lets go shoot some guns!  OK, I'll grab my .45 pistol, you grab your 9mm.  Or I bring my .30-06 and you bring your 7.62mm.  How bout we just stay home instead.  Sounds good.

How bout we go running?  Where?  Downtown.  Ok, I'll drive.  We get in my car a drive 70 miles per hour to get downtown, which is 17 miles away, but when we get there we are running a 5K race.  5K?  How many miles is that?  Fuck, I don't know, let me get my calculator!  What the fuck country are we in?

Hell, drug dealers are even confused.  They buy kilos of drugs and then break 'em down to sell them by the ounce or they buy them buy the pound and sell them by the gram.  These are drug dealers!  Aren't they suppose to be stupid?  Maybe I should have went to school where they did, cause if I had to convert back and forth all day I would lose my ass selling drugs!

Pounds and Ounces, there is some shit that really pisses me off.  First of all, who came up with oz as the abbreviation for ounces, Snoop Dogg? 
Yah, dog, that's a OZ fo'shizzle, my bizzle. 

And lb is for pound?  Really?!  You are aware that pound starts with a "P" and ends with with a "D"?  OH!  It's Latin, the language no one speaks anymore, I see!?! Then if that isn't bad enough, there are ounces and then there are fluid ounces.  You measure a glass of water in fl.oz.  Well, what if I put the glass of water in the freezer overnight and pull it out?  Now what asshole?  Is it fluid ounces or just ounces, HUH!?!  Kiss my ass!

All of this wouldn't piss me off so much if the metric system didn't make so much fuckin sense. 

Metric Units for weight:
1000 mg = 1 gram
1000 g = 1 kg
1000 kg = 1 metric ton

What do we do?
437.5 grain = 1 oz
16 oz = 1 lb
2,000 lb = 1 ton
16 tons = Another day older and deeper in debt.  (Had to throw that in.)

Metric Units for length:
10mm = 1cm
100cm = 1m
1000m = 1km

What do we do?
Two 1/16's = 1/8
Eight 1/8's = 1 inch
12 inches = 1 foot
5,280 ft = 1 mile
76 miles = the distance I would walk if I could punch the asshole in the throat that came up with this shit!

Oh well, we'll just convert between the two.  That should be easy enough, right?
1 cm = 0.3937 inches
1 gram = 0.035 ounce
1 foot = 0.305 meters
1 kilogram= 2.205 pounds
1 mile = 1.609 kilometers

Well...........look at all those nice round numbers, no fuckin wonder most Americans are horrible at math and fuckin hate it.  We spend three hours trying to figure out how many kg are in a fuckin pound so we can convert to units that the rest of the planet uses.  Let's see, carry the 7 and divide by the square root of pi = BULLSHIT!

The only reason that we don't adopt this like the rest of Earth is because France spearheaded the metric system movement back in the day.  It's like listening to your wife's directions while driving the car, it's the last thing a man wants to do if he is lost.  And we'll be damned if we do anything that France does.  And I primarily blame that on Toby Keith.  If you ain't America, you ain't shit!  Ain't that right Toby?  Yah!  Stickin boots in people's asses!  Yeehaw!  Hey, Toby, quick question, where's Liberia?  That's what I thought, shut the fuck up dummy!

I don't have a problem with not using the metric system, but if we are giving the rest of the globe the middle finger, then DO IT and quit half-assin it!  Quit letting the metric system swim the river and jump the border like a bunch of illegal aliens.  Are we going to use it or not?  Shit or get off the pot! 

Cause this mix and match buffet of units is BULLSHIT!!!


Battery Powered Baby Swings

Battery Powered Baby Swings are BULLSHIT!!!

When the designers at Graco were sitting around thinking up their last baby swing, do you think anyone else was in the room?  Like someone with common sense.  Someone with rational thought?  NO, the only fucker allowed in that meeting was this guy......

.....and he was blowing everyone there!  Or at least paying for the hookers.

That's the only explaination I have for why ANYONE would design a baby swing to run on battery power.  Energizer and Duracell have to be paying these fuckin guys loads of cash to design the pieces of shit to run on their batteries.  And not just any batteries, the Godzilla of all batteries.  Fuckin D size batteries!  The most expensive, bulky, old technology, waste of space in my kitchen drawer batteries.  Why do we still make these fuckin things?  Is anyone reading this still packing around one of those 17 pound flashlights that require 4 of these pieces of shit.  Fuck NO!  You're telling me that we haven't found a way to put the same amount of power that a D size battery has into something the size of...say a peanut?  BULLSHIT!  These fuckin batteries have been around since the early 1900's!  The cellphone I pack around right now is smaller than my first cellphone's entire battery and that was the mid 90's.  Get with the fuckin program Energizer and Duracell, you assholes!

Now don't get me wrong, I love battery powered shit.  My remote control to my TV is battery powered, fuckin awesome job Panasonic!  My home phone is battery powered, nice job V-Tech.  My power drill is battery powered, DeWalt you are the shit!  Our baby swing is battery powered???  Have you lost your FUCKING minds Graco!?!  Seriously!  Look at the list of shit here:
TV remote, cordless phone, and a power drill.  Ummmmmm............"Things I would walk around the house and use."  Ding, ding, ding.  Not once have we decided to leave the house and said,  "Did you grab the baby swing, well better bring it."  "I am so glad that thing is battery powered or we would be fucked!"  Never been said....by anyone....on the planet. 

I can't help but think that the only explaination for all this is safety.  Hey, I'm all for kids safety.  But you are telling me that cause some window licker gets tangled up in the cord to the mini-blinds, I can't have a swing that plugs into the wall?  BULLSHIT!  That's why everything you buy comes wall papered with warning labels, for idoits that can't think for themselves.  I guess I shouldn't complain, they do offer alternatives.  Let's see what they say. 

"Whether you choose a battery-powered swing or a wind-up variety depends on your personal tastes."

A fuckin wind-up swing!!!  Well, KISS MY ASS!  This is your alternate method?  A century old battery technology or one that you wind-up?  What is this, a fuckin Ford model T.  Your gonna keep winding this thing like a post World War II kids toy?  Why this brilliant idea wasn't thrown out in the brainstorming session is beyond me, buncha ignert bastards!

Here is the deal.  When we moved into our house, I called a business that sells this magic stuff called electricity.  I pay them a monthly fee and they come out and hook it up to my house.  So now when I get up in the morning, I flip a switch and these bright things in my bedroom light up and make it where I can see.  This way, I don't have to get in my car and drive to the fuckin store to buy little cylinders full of electricity cause its already in my house surging through the fuckin walls!  And then comes Graco, damn assholes!  You come along and sell me a swing that sits in the same fuckin spot for a year and half, THREE FUCKING FEET from a plug-in and you can't provide one of these???

Well have one of these!

Cause your swings running on batteries is BULLSHIT!!!


Walmart "Speedy" Checkout

Walmart "Speedy" Checkout is  BULLSHIT!!!

See, by writing this post, I am assuming that the idiots that bring 57 items to the "speedy" checkout can read.  I know that this is a long shot cause we are talking about Walmart people like this: 

Click here and you'll see the caliber of individual that we are dealing with.

You know what happens when you assume shit, so maybe they can read, but just can't count, I don't know.  I find that hard to believe cause PBS offers a program for free where a guy will teach you how to count. 

Look familiar?

How hard is it to look in your cart and see that the heap of hungry man dinners and bottles of mountian lighting flowing over probably add up to more than 20.  If you can't count, here look at this:

If your cart looks like this:

or if there is even a question that you have more than 20 items, hows about shufflin your ass over to the next lane with the conveyor belt and waiting your turn like all the rest of the large cart pushers.  See that lane has a conveyor belt for a reason, it can hold 57 cans of best choice pinto beans no problem.  The "speedy" checkout has a counter.  A counter just large enough to hold 20 average items.  So, when I am standing behind you in the "speedy" checkout with a package of batteries and your putting your 39th box of fishsticks on the counter, I start to scan the magazine rack looking for something that I can stab you with. 

Also, the "speedy" checkout sign should say "No Checks or Coupons."  Cause for one, fuck people who still write checks, this is 2011.  Get with the fuckin program.  And two, if you take the time to cut coupons, then I'm gonna guess you probably been waiting all week to go grocery shopping and have more than 20 items, so shuffle down to the conveyor belt, dipshit!

Walmart should regulate this shit.  It's their fuckin 20 items lane.  Do something!  Walmart could fix this problem with one simple computer program.  When fat Nancy walks up to the "speedy" checkout and unloads a 6 month supply of food.  The Walmart employee starts to ring em up, when the item total hits 20, it's $0.25 for each item above 20.  That will put an end to Super Saver Sherry and her 3 ring binder full of coupons in the "speedy" lane with 2 carts full of groceries. 

You shouln't have to do any of this, but people are assholes and don't care about others when we are buying shit.  Just get in there and buy shit, fuck everyone around you.  Stand with your cart turned sideways blocking the entire isle.  You know who you are, asshole!  Then push your Mt. Fuji cart of groceries to the "speedy" checkout and act like you don't know what you are doing while they ring up your 72nd item.  Fuck you, dick.  Hope you choke on a fishstick. 

Cause Walmart "Speedy" Checkout is BULLSHIT!!!

Long Lines at Walmart

Long Lines at Walmart are BULLSHIT!!!

Every fucking time I go in this shithole, it takes longer to get through the checkout line than it does to find all the items I went in for.  And every time I am standing in line for 25 mins, I think the same fuckin thing........  32 FUCKING LANES AND 5 OF THEM ARE OPEN???  What are these fucking lanes for?  Black Friday?  Is that it, one fuckin day a year when all the assholes in town pile up outside of shithole Walmart to by a Vonix DVD player for $8.88.  There is a reason that the piece of shit is $8.88 you fucking moron.  But we'll save that for a different post. 

Look, we are smart consumers.  The sun isn't even up and we are saving money. 
Yee-haw!  Fucktards one and all!

When they came up with the idea for the supercenter, I think they planned on putting 10 lanes in to start.  Then some corporate asshole speaks up and says:
"What about black friday?" 
"Oh shit, uh.........put in 32 lanes." 
"We can't hire that many people to check out customers!" 
"I know, we will put six employees, three on each end, and when people walk in it will create the illusion that there are hundreds of people in the store ready to serve."
"You are a genius, Bob."
"Thanks Ted."

You could go to the "speedy" checkout, but someone will fuck that up for you, trust me.  The thing that blows my mind is that Walmart has the power and industry leadership to make Walmart checkout the fastest fuckin checkout on the planet.  They could assemble a team to figure out how to make the checkout process the greatest fuckin thing ever.  But they won't work on that.  Instead they bring you great ideas like self checkout.  Those 2 words that bring chills to my spine.  Some corporate assholes sitting around a table in Fayetteville, AR saying:

"No, see we make them check theirselves out."
"So do we give them a discount for doing this?"
"And we won't have to pay someone to help check them out?"
"Just one person who watches the self checkout like a prison yard."
"How difficult are these machines to work?"
"For people with IQ's larger than their shoe size, they are a piece of cake.  For people who are idoits, its like rebuilding a carburetor."
"Hum...........You think people will do this?"
"Oh, they'll do it and they'll fuckin LOVE it!  It will make them think that they're playing grocery store like when they were kids."
"You are a genius, Bob."
"Thanks Ted."

Self checkout.....HOLY SHIT what a fucking horrible idea.  This was their answer?  You are going to ask people who can't count how many items are in their fuckin basket and who look like this:

to work your computerize checkout system?  Really?  Tell ya what, I'll stop you right there and say that who ever thought of this train wreck never actually stepped foot in one of their stores.  You corporate dipshits!  But you see where that shitty idea went, right where it should have, in the fuckin garbage.  Within a couple of years of the self checkout going in......it was coming right back out.  Walmart execs, you are a bunch of retards! 

When you get your items and head to the front of the store, it should be like fuckin Nascar!  People sprinting around refilling cash in the registers, people running and changing rolls of receipt paper, maintenance guys switching out checkout guns cause they start to smoke.  That's the shit I wanna see.  Instead I see a crowd like this:

....and six people standing there to check them out. 

That's why long lines at Walmart are BULLSHIT!!!

Places that only take cash/check

Places that only take cash/check are BULLSHIT!!!

This one is TOTAL BULLSHIT! 

You walk into a small town restaurant to grab something to eat, have a nice meal, and walk up to the register and there it is.  The hand written "Sorry, cash/check only" sign.  Yes, you are sorry you prick!  Now tell me where the nearest ATM is. Cause you know how much we love to get fucked at the ATM with their stupid fees and then MY BANK fucks me with their fees.

How bout the assholes that don't take debit cards, but they have an ATM right there in the corner of the restaurant.  Well, guess what dicks?  I just spent what was going to be your tip on an ATM fee, so suck it!

Cash/Check only, huh?  How about I open a restaurant and you come in and eat and when you walk up the register the hand written sign says "Sorry, coins only."  Ya, bitch I only accept pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.  Oh, you don't have coins, well I did write sorry on the sign.  The bank is up the street.  Go fuck yourself.

I'm sure some people have heard the Jeff Foxworthy joke where they come to repo his car and tell him that unless you give us $800 we are taking the car.  He says "I ain't got it."  The repo guy says "Can't you write a check?"  He says "A check?  "Surrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee, hell I thought you wanted money."  "Tell you what, what's the balance on that thing, I'll go ahead and pay it off."  See, checks are the biggest bullshit of all!  I can write you a check for the burgers and fries, but what if there is NO money in the account.  What then, genius?  Oh, you hang my check up to show everyone around that I bounce checks.  Well, I'm from out of town and will never be back, so jokes on you, asshole!  Get 3-4 of those a week, that card reader soundin pretty good right now isn't it?

This BULLSHIT always happens and it's always the best little burger joint or greasy spoon.  They have the best food and the best way to fuck the IRS.  "Hum.......it says here, Steve's Diner only made $2,143 last year, but they have been in business since 1962.  Wierd!?!  If you want to fuck the gov't, then find another way.  This is 2011 and we have these convenient little things called debit cards.  They allow me to have a large sum of money at my finger tips without actually having to tote it around, assholes.  So pay a small fee and get a card machine, you fuckers! 

"We don't want to pay the fees that come with the card machine."  Well, let me ask you this.  As part of your overhead, don't you pay for things like napkins and silverware?  Or do you hang a hand written sign that says "Sorry, finger eating only."  Kiss my ASS.  Accepting debit card is part of being in business.  So wake up, hire a youngster to show you what buttons to push on the fancy future machine and take my debit card, you dick!

Cause cash/check only is BULLSHIT!!!

NO Cash Back at Gas Stations

No Cash Back at Gas Stations is BULLSHIT!!!

If you take a debit card at your business, you should offer cash back, asshole!  You are accessing my bank account to get your money that I owe you for buying an item.  While your in there, grab a few more bucks and give 'em to me.  It IS my money you prick!  If you want to be part of the "money network", then you need to offer the same type of options as most of the free world. 

This only chaps my ass when I go into a gas station that doesn't offer cash back (which is most of them where I live).  Fuckin gas stations won't offer cash back for what reason?  If anyone in town is raking in the dough, its you gas stations, you assholes.  Almost every place I go, before they print my receipt, they ask "Would you like cash back?"  You know what, I am feeling in the cash back mood, I'll take a twenty.  Easy enough.  What's your problem gas stations?  You think your better than everyone else, dicks.

This really only pisses me off this much cause when I go to the fuckin Post Office of all places they ask "You want cash back?"  I'm like, damn it gas stations get your shit together.  The fuckin Post Office is beating you!  The fuckin Post Office?  This place is making $.44 off a stamp, but will give me $40 if I ask for it.  I go into a gas station and spend $55 to fill up and they won't give me $10. 

Why not go to my ATM you ask?  Cause MY BANK blows goats for quarters, thats why.  If I need cash, I wanna be able to swing into a gas station, throw a pack of gum on the counter and get $20 back.  MARK MY WORDS, if the Post Office ever starts selling gum, your fucked gas stations.

Cause No Cash Back at Gas Stations is BULLSHIT!!!

Bank of America

Bank of America is BULLSHIT!!!

BOA can blow me!  I fuckin despise you and hope someone sues you into the fucking ground! 

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I feel better.  Your probably thinking "Who's this guy to say that BOA is BULLSHIT?"  Don't believe me?  Well, it's not just me.  There is an entire website devoted to how much BOA sucks.  Majority of the logs on the forum are from former and CURRENT employees.  That's how fuckin horrible this place is.  If the economy wasn't busy taking a shit right now, I'm sure that these people would quit their jobs. 

Even after a big fat $25,000,000,000 (Yes, 9 zeros) check from the gov't, the assholes still can't get their shit together.

The ONLY, and I mean ONLY reason I bank at this shithole is my employer banks there and I get everything free (safety deposit box, etc).  I have all my online shit setup and it would take me forever to get that shit ironed out if I switch banks.  One day they are going to push me to the edge and I'm cleaning out my accounts and going somewhere else.  Which is BULLSHIT!!!  Get your shit together BOA, you assholes! 

I actually had to show one of the loan officers what button to push in Excel for his spreadsheet to work so he could show ME that I was basically going to get fucked hard if I took a loan with them.  My mortgage isn't with them, my car loan isn't with them cause their rates blow and they stipulate where you can purchase a used car from.  They said they would give me a used car loan, but I had to purchase said car at a name brand lot like Chevy or Toyota.  Does this loan come with Vaseline for my asshole cause I'm gonna need it if I'm heading down to Toyota to purchase a used anything.

My BIGGEST gripe of all is the ATM fees.  You wanna talk about squeezing every last drop out of you.  These assholes charge you a fee for not using their ATM's.  No, I'm not talking about the $2 or $3 dollar fee that the other bank charges to use THEIR ATM.  BOA charges in addition to that fee another fee that they take out of your account later for not using their ATM.  Well, BOA here's a thought.............PUT MORE FUCKIN ATM'S IN YOU COCKSUCKERS!!!  We used to have one in my town, but the assholes at BOA thought "You know what, we are being way too generous here by offering a ATM in a location where our bank is not."  "Lets take that out, cause that is too convenient." "Oh, and then charge an extra fee if they don't drive all the way over here to us."  After $25 Billion in bail out, you can't waive an ATM fee?  Really? 

Well, kiss my dick BOA cause your bank is BULLSHIT!!!

YWKWB UPDATE 10/26/11: 

This just in!  Bank of America still fuckin sucks.  We here at YWKWB would like you to know that I have successfully moved ALL of my business to a great little local bank that is right up the street from me.  BEST THING I HAVE DONE IN YEARS!  I wish I had done it earlier, but as I said before it is a nightmare and I was avoiding it like the plague.  But after the layoff of 40,000 employes last quarter and the sorry ass attempt at fucking people out of $5 a month for their debit cards, I said FUCK IT I'M OUT!  Cause if they can't fuck me with the $5 debit fee, they will find another way to slip it in my ass while I am sleeping.  So I pulled up anchor and this ship has sailed.  See ya BOA.  Let me know how Bankruptcy goes for ya, cause you know that's what's next. 

Suck a bagful of dicks, cause your bank is BULLSHIT!!!