3D Technology

3D Technology is BULLSHIT!!!

It has been a long while since I have been to the movies, mainly cause I am sick of getting ass raped by AMC theatres to the tune of $24.00 for my wife and myself just to watch a fuckin movie.  The same length movie I can rent for a $1.19 at any Redbox, tax and all!  BUT, the last time I was there, I was thinking "You know what this movie needs........sunglasses!"  Yep, sunglasses.  That would make this whole movie-going experience SO MUCH better.  If I could wear blue-blockers and watch Jackass in 3D, this would be the best date night EVER!

Who in their right fuckin mind would pay $24.00 to see a movie, then add $5 a ticket for 3D?  Idiots, that's who.  3D.......WHAT THE FUCK!?!  It's a stupid marketing gimmick that has waves of fucktards piling into every theatre across the country.  People will buy anything, you know why?  Cause people are stupid!  Don't believe me?  Work in retail for 2 weeks, and tell me that people aren't stupid.  Dumb people buy dumb shit ALL the time.  Why do you think when you are checking out at any store, they have six million little stupid things dummies can buy on their way out?  Cause silly shit sells and 3D is silly shit.

3D has been around for fuckin decades.  The Prizma color system was used in the FUCKIN 20's to show 3D movies.  That fad went away and when people stopped going to the fucking movies, what do you think that they did?  Yep, in the early 50's, they brought it back. They did it again in the 80's.  And now it's back again.  Are you seeing a trend here?  This isn't new technology people!  This is ways for movie companies to make shitloads of money when times get hard, and who is paying for it?  People that go see these pieces of shit, that's who!  All this 3D shit recirculates every thirty years or so and people hop back on the 3D wagon.  Well, not this guy.  I don't buy into fuckin fads and crazes.  Look at the iPhone craze and tell me that the hype and the build up to the all important launch date doesn't fuel that retard rocket to higher sales numbers.  Dumb people will fuckin camp out for 5 days to buy a cell phone.  A cell phone, that by all standards has some major problems in the antenna and reception department, but morons will shuffle in lines for fuckin hours to have one.  Why?  Cause it's "cool". 

Ya, how cool do I look?  Really cool.

3D is nothing more than a way to get people back in the seats at the theatre.  People have started to move away from the movies with all the shit that is available at home.  You can watch pretty much whatever the fuck you want and not leave your house.  But then the retards that went to the theaters and spent all their money watching 3D movies can afford to go anymore.  Now what?  Welllllllllll, now for the low price of several grand, you can watch this stupid shit at home.  Oh yeah, 3D televisions are all the new craze.  Gotta get me one of those!  Yes, now you and your dummy friends can sit around and watch all your 3D favorites from the comfort of your trailer home couch. 

Ummmmmmm, here's the deal.  If I wanted to walk around my house wearing fucking sunglasses, I would, but now I can't even watch TV without wearing them?  WELL, FUCK YOU!!!  If you think I am going to hunt down a pair of fuckin glasses to watch TV, you have lost your fuckin mind!  A few years back I had a thing done to my eyes, oh what was it called?!?!?  Oh yeah, FUCKIN LASIK EYE SURGERY.  You know why?  Cause I was tired of wearing glasses, but more importantly hunting down and, holy shit, sitting on them and breaking them.  Now you are going to try to sell me a pair that takes batteries and a TV that requires me to wear them?  Well, suck a bagful of dicks, cause that is NOT TECHNOLOGY!  Call me when you have a TV that is just like the TV I have now, where I don't have to wear battery-powered accessories and we'll talk.  If your TV requires any extra equipment and more fuckin batteries....piss off!  And don't get me started on 3D video cameras, if your life sucks so much that you have to film it with a camera that makes shit pop of it, then you don't need a camera up to your head, you need a pistol.

Fuckin James Cameron is to blame for all this shit!  His overgrown smurf movie got ALL this 3D BULLSHIT roaring back into the theatres. 

I thought it was a summer craze, but when all the major TV manufacturers rushed out and started producing this BULLSHIT then you knew it was going to be here for a while.  I'm hoping it ends like BetaMax and I can laugh at all the dumb fucks with a 3D TV's sitting in the corner of their garages covered in dust. 

I know by boycotting the whole 3D experience I am probably missing out on some pretty cool 3D movies like........
-Shark Night 3D
-Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D
-Piranha 3D
-Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience
-My Bloody Valentine 3D
-Step Up 3D
-Dolphin Tale 3D
-Fright Night 3D
-Spy Kids 3D
-Happy Feet II 3D

.........and many many more blockbusters and are sure to be talked about twenty years from now.

Here's the deal, if you can't summon the brain power to provide perspective when you watch a movie and create the third dimension for yourself without it being manufactured, then you don't need to sit in front of a TV, you need to sit in the corner and drool on yourself.  3D is a fucking pointless, expensive, and a overused marketing gimmick!  And if you're one of the fucksticks that thinks otherwise and are proud of your 3D camera and TV, then you and James Cameron can put on the stupid battery-powered sunglasses that you have to wear just to watch TV, and have a gander at this......

Cause 3D is BULLSHIT!!!


  1. I wholeheartedly enjoyed this blog post, and I agree!

  2. Thanks skudave! Just pointing out things in my life that make no sense and really piss me off.


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