e-mail Hacking

e-mail Hacking is BULLSHIT!!!

Somewhere in a small room in his parents basement is a fuckin nerd with his button up shirt and his pocket protector in, staring at a computer screen laughing while he finishes his last bowl of romen noodles.  He's laughing cause he just finished writing code for a virus that will eventually be passed around and hack my e-mail account, sending out e-mails to every one of my contacts. 


You motherfucker!  I hope you fall asleep late one night from writing thousands of line of code and your fuckin hard drive overheats, catches fire subsequently causing you to burst into flames.  And as you run around the room with your fuckin head on fire, I hope you think about one thing.......hacking my e-mail account.

I don't know who to be pissed at more, the basement nerd or Microsoft for their horrible fuckin account security.  I mean, are you telling me that it's 2011 and we still can't fight internet terrorism any better than this.  Some asshole living under a rock somewhere with a lot of spare time and a internet connection can get into people's e-mail accounts and go hog wild.  Come on people!  What are we working on that we can't find a solution to this?  Oh yah, I forget that there are more important issues like designing the next great iphone app or a new feature for your Facebook wall.  Give me a fuckin break!  If anyone could come up with a solution for this BULLSHIT I guarantee you that everyone with a computer would pay for it and that fucker would be rich.  But no, what does that guy do with his spare time?  He writes programs and embeds viruses and worms on people's PCs so they fuck shit up.  And then the dumbass isn't even making any money by offering a solution to the problem.  At least when you get a malware virus, they are trying to sell you the "fix" for it.  Not these cocksuckers.  They just fuck shit up, that's all, just tear shit up, it's fun for them. 

These dicks have no interest in contributing to society.  They spend their days tucked away in dark rooms writing their next virus so they can be assholes like the guys who used to pick on them in high school.  Fuckin grow up and go get a job at OfficeMax or somethin' you lazy fucks!  At least then when I go in to buy printer paper and you count back my change, you can feel like you've really done something with your life.  Writing viruses behind closed doors gets you no recognition.  At least come forward and claim your prize, so we all know who's ass to beat, you little fuckin weasels!

The worst part is that they send out stupid shit in their e-mail hacks like this:



A fake Canadian drug company who sells "cheap" Viagra and Cialis.  Really!?!  Well I'll tell you right now you dumb fuck, you are barking up the wrong tree.  You might as well be trying to sell me cheap tampons cause I'm not buying.  I got a couple of these sent to me from friend's e-mail accounts that got hacked and didn't think anything about it.  Then mine gets hacked and they send this Viagra BULLSHIT to every e-mail account contact that I have and they all think I am pushing big dick pills over the internet.  Well fuck you!

Here's the thing, you can send this shit to me all you want, I have a delete key.  But when you send this shit to my grandma through my e-mail account, then we have some fuckin problems.  This is the point when I was hoping your hard drive would catch fire.  Again, I don't think my grandma needs big dick pills either.  And my former bosses or high school friends probably don't want Cialis, so quit wasting your time and find a real fuckin job.  Yah, that sounds like a good plan.  Go get a job, save up some cash, go to CarMax, put a down payment on a '98 honda civic, get it tuned up, get on Google maps, find the nearest body of water, take Saturday off and drive there, find a cliff overlooking the water, accelerate to a rapid speed and launch your dumbass off in it with the fuckin windows down....cocksucker!


Cause you hacking my e-mail is BULLSHIT!!!