5/25/2011

Stock Market Gas Prices

Gas Prices fluctuating like the stock market is BULLSHIT!!!



Now I'm not talking about gas prices being high, we all know that is BULLSHIT!  When you buy gas, everyone knows who's getting screwed!  Me and you!  I'm talking about the gas prices that change daily like it's the fuckin DOW JONES!

Now everyone has their gas station that you go to.  It's the same one that you drive by everyday going to work and coming back from work.  You drive by every morning and gas prices are up.  Shocker!  But here's the BULLSHIT that really pisses me off.  Nobody told me that I would have to be a daytrader in order to not get fucked on gas prices. 

Scenerio #1:
I drive by my gas station in the morning, gas is $3.59 a gallon.  I'm thinking, "I still have a quarter tank, I'll just wait until tomorrow."  So tomorrow comes and I drive by, still $3.59 a gallon.  Well, tank is getting a little lower, but I'm still holding out.  I'm willing to bet that it will drop a couple of cents and then I will buy it on my way home.  I'm a regular daytrader, look at me.  I'm going to hold out and buy low.  But here in lies the gamble.  Because on the flip side of the coin, it could go up and then you're screwed!  But I'm feelin lucky, so lets do this shit, I'm pushin the envelope!  So lunchtime rolls around and some coworkers are going out to eat, I ride along.  We go by the same gas station as we go into town.  We round the corner, I look up and YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!  $3.49 baby!  Daddy's a high roller tonight.  I'm telling everyone in the car how I almost stopped this morning for gas and how I had a feeling it would go down.  Others in the car are saying how they bought gas this morning and are pissed that they didn't wait.  HAHA, it's a good day.  So we return to work, finish the afternoon and I'm heading home.  When I take off, my gas light in my car comes on.  I'm thinking "Just in time."  So, I drive to the same gas station on my way home, round the corner and I look up.........$3.61 a gallon..........MOTHERFUCKER!!!  ARE YOU SHITTIN ME!?!  What fuckin terrorist attack or Gulf Hurricane did I miss this afternoon?  Did we bomb some oil field halfway round the planet while I was working?  What THE FUCK is with the roller coaster stock market gas prices?  TOTAL BULLSHIT!

Scenrio #2:  (One week later)
I drive by my gas station in the morning, gas is $3.59 a gallon.  I'm thinking, I still have a quarter tank, but I'm not getting fucked like I did last week.  I pull in and fill 'er up.  Go to work, finish the day and head home.  I drive by the same fuckin gas station on my way home, round the corner and look up.........$3.47 a gallon..........REALLY!?!  AGAIN!!!  FUCK YOU GAS STATION!!!   

Scenrio #3:  (The next day)
I drive by my gas station in the morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Bought gas yesterday, I have a full tank so I'll pass.  I drive by my gas station the next morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Don't need gas.  I drive by my gas station the next morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Don't need gas, still have half a tank.  I drive by my gas station the next morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Don't need gas.  I drive by my gas station the next morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Don't need gas, have a quarter tank.  I drive by my gas station the next morning, gas is $3.47 a gallon.  Don't need gas.  Leave work that afternoon, gas light comes on.  Drive by the gas station on my way home, look up.....$3.64 a gallon.  WELL, KISS MY DICK!!

I swear the oil companies have a trained psychologist on staff that teaches them these marketing tactics.  They train the gas stations to break you down psychologically by fucking you several different ways each and everyday.  You get fucked by the gas station every other time you drive by it, pretty soon you'll just pull in and buy gas no matter what the price, just so you don't have to deal with the psychological warfare.  Your like, "Am I getting the best price?  What if I wait a day, it could go down.  Oh shit, but it could go up too.  What if I buy it here and the next station is cheaper?  What if I don't buy it here and the next station is more expensive.  Fuck, I better just pull in and buy gas now."  And that is where they've got ya, by the balls.  You have no fucking way of even coming close to guessing what gas prices are going to do.  It would be easier to forecast the weather than to guess at gas prices.  You could have fuckin degree in Statistics and you would be like, "Fuck this, I'm just gonna buy it at the first place I see!"

It's always a psychological game that they play with gas prices.  If gas is at $2.50 a gallon and you buy it and then it goes to $2.80, your like "I wish gas was $2.50 again, that was awesome when it was $2.50."  Then they lower it to $2.70 and it's like "Well, that's better than $2.80."  So you buy the shit out of it.  Then they raise it to $3.10 and your like "This blows."  But you continue to buy the shit out it.  Then it goes up to $3.60 and your like "Remember when gas was $3.10, that was fuckin awesome!"  Then they drop it a little to stop the bitching and you buy the shit out of it.  Then raise it to $4.25 and that $3.60 was lookin like a hell of a deal, wish we had that back.  Pretty soon gas it $7.75 a gallon and your saying "Remember when gas was $7.00 a gallon, those were the days, wish gas was $7.00 again."  They mind fuck you into thinking that $7.00 was the deal of the century, then they drop it back down to $7.00 a gallon and people are filling up tankers full it thinking that they'll never see gas prices this low again.  I smell BULLSHIT!

It's sad, but true.  If you look at this picture and the first thing you notice is a fuckin plane crash, then you haven't bought gas in a while!



Until they invent a car that runs on fuckin salt water, you need gas to get to your job so you can make more money, so you can buy more gas so you can keep driving to your job.  It's a vicious cycle and that is fine, I'll deal with that, but the everyday changing of the gas prices has got to stop.  Since I can't pour ANY ol' liquid into my gas tank to make my car go, I have to buy stupid gasoline and play their stupid fuckin games.  If I wanted to play the stock market, I would.  Don't make me guess at stupid shit that I buy on a regular basis.  If I had to work this hard to find the best price on toilet paper everytime I went to a store......I'd say "Fuck it" and wipe my ass with a handful of leaves out of the yard.

Cause playing the stock market when buying gas is BULLSHIT!!!

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