Cyclists

Cyclists are BULLSHIT!!!



Well, it's that time of the year again when the weather is getting nicer and the grass is starting to green.  There is a smell of lilac in the air and off in the distance you can hear birds chirping.  It's a wonderful Saturday morning and I decide to run up to the hardware store and have a look around.  Then when I get in my car and hit the road, I see this.................



Some motherfucker here to show us all that he is maintaining a healthy body weight by riding his fuckin bicycle like a seven year old.  And not only is the asshole riding his bike out in the middle of town, but riding down the middle of the fuckin street!  HEY DICKHEAD!  They have parks and trails for fuckers like you.  There's trails and paths and huge open green spaces where you can ride your $3,000 bike, I know, I've seen 'em!  The streets were constructed to a certian width.  That width was determined by measuring a certian means of transportation.  I'm gonna guess by the looks of it, it wasn't your fucking bicycle, LANCE!

Now everywhere I turn I see these fucking BULLSHIT signs.

 
SHARE THE ROAD!?!  I'm not the fucking shithead that's riding a kid's christmas present down the middle of fuckin Main Street at 15mph.  Here's an idea.  Hows bout I get in my car and drive it down the middle of the fuckin bike path that runs behind my house.  Just drive that big muthafucka right down the middle....at 72mph.  Isn't that the same fuckin idea as riding a bike WAY below the speed limit in the street meant for cars!?!  Will they put up signs for me with a picture of a car that say "Share the trail"?  Fuck NO!

The worst is when these fucksticks run in herds and I can't get around them.....



This would be like a cattle farmer taking a hundred head of cattle and marching them into town and down the middle of main street.  That shit wouldn't fly, why the fuck does this BULLSHIT get to continue!?!  And these fuckers have a death wish!  Cause when I am driving the back roads off the beaten path with no shoudlers and deep ditches and I come up over a hill to a cyclist who's doin 20mph.  He's lucky that this isn't the next scene..........



Here's the deal.  If you want to dress up in a tights like a ballerina, put on a yellow wristband, and pretend you're Lance Armstrong that's fine.  But stay the fuck off the streets.  My car's speedometer goes well past 30mph and it will do at least 70,  I know, I've seen me do it.  But the next fuckin time I am trying to get somewhere on a Saturday and I run into a herd of these fucks taking up the road.  I'm droppin it in low and hammerin the gas with the horn ablowin'!
USE THE SIDEWALK FUCKERS!!!


Cause Cyclists are BULLSHIT!!!