YWKWB QUICKIE: Yellow Starburst

Yellow Starburst are BULLSHIT!!!

I fuckin hate yellow Starburst!  When you get a two pack of Starburst and you open them up to find this.......

You are so fuckin pissed!  When you get ready to open a two pack, you're hoping for 2 reds or 2 pinks or a combo red and pink.  If there is an orange in the mix, you're not too disappointed, but if there is a yellow, you're like.......FUCK!  But if there are 2 yellows, holy shit!  It's like dating a girl for a while, getting her back to your place, things get serious, you get her to the bedroom, things are getting hot and heavy, you slide those panties off................and she HAS A DICK!  That's how fuckin disappointing 2 yellows are.

Yellow Starburst are the worst candy EVER, THERE'S NEVER BEEN A WORST CANDY!!!

And if you are one of the freaks that "loves" yellow Starburst, well.....your vote doesn't count cause there is obviously something wrong with you.  You probably like candy corn and root beer barrels, too.  FREAK!

Hey Starburst, fuckin knock it off!!!  Cause your yellow ones are BULLSHIT!!!


Continued Space Exploration

Continued Space Exploration is BULLSHIT!!!

With the recent news that NASA is now looking to build a "taxi" system to take people back and forth to the international space station, I couldn't resist.  I have been wanting to write on the topic of space exploration for a while now and with NASA back in the news for their fuckin cab rides to outer space, I seized the moment.  Now before people start defending NASA and telling me we wouldn't have things like Kevlar, cell phones, and Temperpedic Mattresses without NASA, you are correct.  All that stuff is awesome.  If anything, NASA should stop all the spacecraft Star Wars BULLSHIT and open a facility totally dedicated to the invention of these technologies.  That said, there is a LOT of BULLSHIT NASA spends our alotted tax dollars on.  Where shall we start?

That is NASA's budget this year.  That is how much of our hard earned tax dollars is going to fund NASA's next BULLSHIT idea.  18.7 BILLION DOLLARS!!!  It's hard to grasp how much fuckin money that is, so I'll give you a visual.

If we use $100 bills, this is a million dollars:

$1,000,000 (one million dollars)

Meh, not that impressive.  Using the same $100 bills, here is a billion dollars:

$1,000,000,000 (one billion dollars)

Wow, not that is some fuckin cash!  Well, think about this for a moment, you would need another 177 pallets of $100 bills just like these to equal 18.7 BILLION dollars!  That's a 20 foot square 2 story building completely filled to the brim with $100 bills.  HOLY SHIT!!! That is a fuckload of money! 

Here's the deal, this is the same budget these dicksuckers at NASA had last fuckin year!  Yeah, 18.7 billion dollars sounded good last year, why not this year?  So lets see what 18.7 billion dollars bought us last year.  Lets see here, oh, the Messenger Spacecraft that NASA lauched 6.5 fuckin years ago and cost 4.9 BILLION dollars finally reached Mars and now orbits the planet every 12 hours and takes pictures of its surface.  NASA now dedicates an entire fuckin team to monitor and log all the images and data from this piece of shit.

That one is paying dividends for us!  Finally, what I have always wanted, pictures of the surface of Mars.....EVERY FUCKIN 12 HOURS!  Moving on.....last July, NASA's ion-propelled spacecraft DAWN, which had traveled 1.7 billion miles, reached an asteroid.......and took a fuckin picture of it.  NICE!

In the picture is a mountian on the asteroid.  NASA tells us that the mountian is taller than any on Earth, so for those few people who have made it up Everest and lived.....NASA has your next challange.  I hear they have cab rides now, but a 1.7 billion mile cab fare might bust your budget. 

Now here is an interesting one, NASA found "bubbles" at the edge of our solar system.....AWESOME!

The bubbles are magnetic and NASA's way of describing them is "twisted and wrinkled, like a ballerina's skirt".  Wow, slow the fuck down with all the scientific terms!  This past December, the Mars rover Opportunity took this picture of the surface of Mars....

If your wondering what the fuck that is?  Well, that is a gypsum deposit that the rover found on Mars.  A rover that was suppose to be on Mars looking for water.  It found a mineral.  A mineral so rare that you can only find it in a few locations around the US.....pretty much any hardware store.  WHAT!?!  Yes, gypsum is a mineral used to make drywall.  So, if Home Depot ever runs out of drywall and you need some to finish your basement project, just hop a space cab to Mars and grab ya some! 

What you might not know is that the Mars rover Opportunity has a twin called Spirit.  Yeah, there are two of these fuckin things on Mars, but NASA lost the signal to the Spirit rover like a fuckin dropped cell phone call and they can't get it back!  How much did that piece of shit cost us you might wonder?  Well, NASA wants to build another rover called Curiousity and its price tag is 2.5 billion dollars!  And I thought I was pissed when I dropped a call on my cell.  If it cost me 2.5 billion dollars, holy shit!   Funny that they named it Curiousity, cause I have a Curiousity.....WHO THE FUCK KEEPS FUNDING THIS BULLSHIT!!!

This next one is my favorite.  Last February, one of NASA's probes took pictures of the opposite side of the sun for us. 

The opposite side of the sun?    Doesn't this ball of dirt we are on rotate around the sun?  One rotation around the sun was a year the last time I checked.  So......if we wanted a picture of the opposite side of the sun, why didn't we take a picture, wait 6 months and then take another one?  What.  The.  Fuck!?! 

So our oh-so wise government decided that they'll keep the budget the same, brilliant!  Right here is where I will point out that the Department of Transportation's budget for this year is 13.4 billion dollars.  So the next time you are driving down the highway and hit a patch of road like this.....

Don't worry about it.  Just relax, knowing that as you read this, NASA is still trying to get ahold of the Mars Rover Spirit on the worlds most expensive cell phone and taking pictures of the Sun's ass!

Fuck YOU NASA!  Cause Continued Space Exploration is BULLSHIT!!!