Walmart "Speedy" Checkout

Walmart "Speedy" Checkout is  BULLSHIT!!!

See, by writing this post, I am assuming that the idiots that bring 57 items to the "speedy" checkout can read.  I know that this is a long shot cause we are talking about Walmart people like this: 

Click here and you'll see the caliber of individual that we are dealing with.

You know what happens when you assume shit, so maybe they can read, but just can't count, I don't know.  I find that hard to believe cause PBS offers a program for free where a guy will teach you how to count. 

Look familiar?

How hard is it to look in your cart and see that the heap of hungry man dinners and bottles of mountian lighting flowing over probably add up to more than 20.  If you can't count, here look at this:

If your cart looks like this:

or if there is even a question that you have more than 20 items, hows about shufflin your ass over to the next lane with the conveyor belt and waiting your turn like all the rest of the large cart pushers.  See that lane has a conveyor belt for a reason, it can hold 57 cans of best choice pinto beans no problem.  The "speedy" checkout has a counter.  A counter just large enough to hold 20 average items.  So, when I am standing behind you in the "speedy" checkout with a package of batteries and your putting your 39th box of fishsticks on the counter, I start to scan the magazine rack looking for something that I can stab you with. 

Also, the "speedy" checkout sign should say "No Checks or Coupons."  Cause for one, fuck people who still write checks, this is 2011.  Get with the fuckin program.  And two, if you take the time to cut coupons, then I'm gonna guess you probably been waiting all week to go grocery shopping and have more than 20 items, so shuffle down to the conveyor belt, dipshit!

Walmart should regulate this shit.  It's their fuckin 20 items lane.  Do something!  Walmart could fix this problem with one simple computer program.  When fat Nancy walks up to the "speedy" checkout and unloads a 6 month supply of food.  The Walmart employee starts to ring em up, when the item total hits 20, it's $0.25 for each item above 20.  That will put an end to Super Saver Sherry and her 3 ring binder full of coupons in the "speedy" lane with 2 carts full of groceries. 

You shouln't have to do any of this, but people are assholes and don't care about others when we are buying shit.  Just get in there and buy shit, fuck everyone around you.  Stand with your cart turned sideways blocking the entire isle.  You know who you are, asshole!  Then push your Mt. Fuji cart of groceries to the "speedy" checkout and act like you don't know what you are doing while they ring up your 72nd item.  Fuck you, dick.  Hope you choke on a fishstick. 

Cause Walmart "Speedy" Checkout is BULLSHIT!!!

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